My boys....This past Sunday I hit the trails… the real trails… for a long solo run. Normally I would be running with one of my girls but instead I wanted to be by myself. My oldest left for the Marines that morning and it was a very emotional time for our entire family. Much harder than I ever thought it would be. Scott then drove me straight to our local State Park so I could drain all of the emotions I had held in over the past few days.
It was so hard seeing him leave and knowing that I would not see or speak to him for 13 weeks. With new music on my shuffle I quickly got to business on the trails and found it to be freeing. Every step felt powerful and strong and once I reached the top of the trail head I let the tears flow. I was soaked with sweat and tears but I was so thankful to have the ability to run and gather myself again.
I took trails from new directions and just ran. Tackled the hills with little problems. It felt as if I was flying and the miles and time seemed to flash by so fast. Not once did I want the run to end. Scott ran on the roads in the park and was waiting for me at the car when I finished up the last mile.
I want MMTR bad this year and now every time I begin to question my ability or begin to feel burnt out with all of the training I will think of my son and know that what I am doing is nothing compared to where he is and what he is doing for our country.
This is such a weird place to be in my life at such an young age. What it is showing me over and over again is that our kids are with us for such a small time and then they are gone. Wasted moments can never be gotten back and having a close relationship with Scott will be a gift that I am seeing more and more every day. Now if only I could be nicer on cleaning day in our house. :)
It was so hard seeing him leave and knowing that I would not see or speak to him for 13 weeks. With new music on my shuffle I quickly got to business on the trails and found it to be freeing. Every step felt powerful and strong and once I reached the top of the trail head I let the tears flow. I was soaked with sweat and tears but I was so thankful to have the ability to run and gather myself again.
I took trails from new directions and just ran. Tackled the hills with little problems. It felt as if I was flying and the miles and time seemed to flash by so fast. Not once did I want the run to end. Scott ran on the roads in the park and was waiting for me at the car when I finished up the last mile.
I want MMTR bad this year and now every time I begin to question my ability or begin to feel burnt out with all of the training I will think of my son and know that what I am doing is nothing compared to where he is and what he is doing for our country.
This is such a weird place to be in my life at such an young age. What it is showing me over and over again is that our kids are with us for such a small time and then they are gone. Wasted moments can never be gotten back and having a close relationship with Scott will be a gift that I am seeing more and more every day. Now if only I could be nicer on cleaning day in our house. :)
Robin
14 comments:
You must be so very proud of him. I went into the military a lost young man. I came out a lost older man :-) Just kidding. I would not be who or where I am today without that experience.
I am glad that you found solace in the run. I too have shared that experience, and it is good...
Its just amazing how good a long solo run on the trails can be for clearing your head and letting it all out.
Oooooooo Robin (((HUGS))) Oy, I got all emotional when Keira went to preschool so I can ONLY IMAGINE how I'd be if one of them had to go away for the military. It's so hard to let them go :-(
Glad to hear you were able to hit the trails for a great run to clear your head.
There is no better cure for the blues than running. Unless of course you count booze, but the effects are short lived and can leave you feeling worse. So yeah, I definitely vote for running.
Your son will be home before you know it and he will make you one very proud mom. Hang in there :).
All my best wishes for both you and your son.
Oh my gosh, I cannot imagine sending out my kiddos yet but at the same time I know it's knocking on the door. I am glad you got to have that run. (((HUGS)))
Oh, god, that would be so hard. You are a strong, wonderful mom!
I can't imagine...my oldest is almost 18 and he talks about going into the marines. Your son is very brave. Please tell him "thank you."
I'm so glad the run helped. Running is so great that way...it has helped me through some tough times. KK's comment cracked me up. Booze helped too, but not for long.
MMTR training will be good...hugs :)
Sounds like the trail run was definitely cathartic for you. I will keep your son & fam in my prayers as he makes this journey.
Boy that's got to be a tough one, still it's a grand opportunity for him and I am sure you and Scott and both ultra proud (lol get it!)
Like Dana said those trails will wend their carthatic magic, 13 weeks is going to fly by.
When Michelle and I were planning our family I spoke to Zeke Lynn a work mate of mine who had 5 grown children and asked him for his advice on being a parent. Rather than answer immediately he said he would get back to me the next day.
Zeke waved me into his office as I walked by the next day. When I stepped in and sat down he told me to remember this: "You are a parent for life".
He went on to explain that his son was an Army Ranger and had just been deployed in Central America. He said no matter how long they had been out of the house there was not a day that he didn't think about each and every one of his kids. They are an extension of yourself yet free to be individuals.
You have given your son the tools to function in this world. You have shared joy and sadness. He moves on now to experience some incredible training and to become his own person. It's not the end of the book. Just the end of a very fun chapter in parenting.
Congratulations on your long run!
oh robin ... your post had me shedding a few tears for you - but you must be so proud ... he will provide such strength for you on your journey to MMTR & the 13 weeks will fly by. i'll keep him & you in my thoughts!!
finding that sort of solace in a run is one thing i don't think the bike can ever give me - we are lucky to be able to go to that place and lose ourselves.
Congrats on the run! And best of luck to your son in the Marines!!!
Aw, Robin. I can relate to what you are feeling... at least in a vicarious way. I went into the AF when I was 19. I'm an only child and my mom and I lost my father to a tragic accident back in 1984... so my leaving was really tough on her. She wrote to me every day-- numbering the letters in case I received two on the same day. It meant so much to me and she later told me that it helped her to stay connected to me on a daily basis. Mom was so proud of me... as I'm sure you are of your son. The military eventually becomes such a positive life changing experience for everyone... and 13 weeks will fly!
Best of luck to your son... and of coruse, terrific run!!! :o)
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