Somewhere…..somehow I have allowed self-doubt and a bad attitude to creep in. These last few weeks have been less than stellar for me on the bike. My energy has been rock bottom (very anemic) and I would swear that someone as poured cement into my legs. I could go on and on explaining how my diet does consist of high iron foods and that I do take the prescribed mix of vitamins with plenty of iron to address this issue from the hematologist I have. Now I have to wait it out and let things balance back out.
Still, even knowing all of this…the why…the how…somehow a bad attitude creeps in and finds it’s way through tiny cracks.
Saturday I wanted to just cut free from the normal training, racing, scheduled rides and join in with some friends whom I love to ride with. We met for breakfast and then shortly after headed out to the starting point of a very well know route called the “Bakery Ride” for some climbing. Part of the group would split off at a point and do some nasty switchbacks and the other would continue on to the bakery and back down. My initial plan was to do the switchbacks…this soon changed when my legs would just not corporate. They were heavy like cement. It took all I had just to complete this ride. 38 miles of it. I was more than disgusted with this outcome and would have easily racked my bike and just walked away.
Sunday I took some time to regroup. Give myself a break. Remember again why I do any/all of this. Then I received this email/gift from coach…..
Your life is a gift. Your health is a gift. Your body is a gift. Treat it as such. Eat well, exercise smart, listen when something hurts you and communicate. And for goodness sake see what you have done to get where you are today. TODAY! Is what counts. Not the workout that is on the sheet in 5 days... or the race that is in 3 weeks, or the mileage hike that you saw for next week. TRUST in YOURSELF. BELIEVE in YOURSELF. I wouldn't be doing all this stuff if I thought you were a failure for crying out loud or that you are a slacker. I am so proud of you for setting a goal for yourself and having the discipline within your crazy everyday life to take time for you. .... To want something so bad that you are willing to train mentally and physically. 2 years ago If I told you Hey lets go ride our bikes for 4 days and go 6 hours every day and travel in a van full of stinky people.....
YOU are Strong...You are a climber and it can only get better.
So how is that for grounding me and reminding me as to what drives me? The ability to ride on Saturday, no matter how I was feeling, is a true blessing. To lace up my shoes or ride through the beautiful maintains brings music to my soul. Renews me. Restores me.
Today I am going to run my track workout and think of a dear friend that is battling cancer. I will think of how much she desires to visit the ocean and put her feet in the sand just one more time. I will work hard and cherish this blessing of health that I have. Today…and only today’s workouts will be my focus. Tomorrow will hold another day.